Wednesday changed my life. We were in the middle of the worst ice storm I could remember. I woke to the sound of our home becoming strangely silent at 3:30am. We lost electricity and could hear branches snapping and hitting the snow covered ground outside. I jumped out of bed to grab a candle and matches in the case that the kids would wake up scared. Thankfully the three little ones stayed asleep. We eventually dozed off again, discussing ways to keep them warm and occupied when the sun came up. The lights were on again by dawn, and I walked downstairs to see what coverage the TV was sharing about the weather. Instead of ice, all major news channels were covering the crisis in Egypt. When I turned it off to prepare breakfast I was a little freaked out. Countries in turmoil can do that to a girl. :) My "oldest" sensed my stress and questioned me about it. In a very sarcastic tone I answered "it's just the end times". :) The poor kid was so confused and looked at me concerned and puzzled. I said "it's okay. Jesus is going to come to take us all to heaven". What happened next was the very last thing I expected. He let his head hang low and said quietly "but I don't have Jesus in my heart". Ugh. Wow. Talk about a heavy heart. He had been asking pointed questions about heaven for about a year. In an effort to allow him to have a better understanding and to ensure that we were never placing our own convictions onto our children, we kept skirting the issue. Answering his questions, but never asking him any of our own. We told him that God was preparing a place in heaven for all those that put their trust in Him, and that we believed it because it's what the Bible says. He had heard it a dozen times before, but that day was different. There was an urgency in his voice. I said "You're right, bud. You don't have Jesus in your heart". Talk about pouring salt on a wound. His daddy chimed in with so many more truths that we have each known since our own childhood. "Jesus loves you", "He wants you to live for Him", "He sent His very own Son to die on a cross so that you wouldn't have to pay the penalty that you deserve for your sin". Okay, so maybe that last truth was the adult version of what he was told that day. :) And then we told him about hell. The alternative. The only other place that he could go when he dies. We said that whoever doesn't have Jesus in their hearts will go there when they die. That's when he lost it. He put his head in his hands and just sobbed. Not "I'm 4 and having an emotional moment" cry, or a "if I lay it on thick they will give me candy" cry. They were very sincere, burdened tears. He said "Is Jesus coming today?" I said "I don't know, bud. Maybe." He felt like he had no hope. He knew the truth. Jesus is in your heart and you have the gift of spending eternity with Him, or you can rely on your own "good works" or other gods and have eternity in a lake of fire. He looked so defeated. It was hard for a mom to watch. I got teary. Thankfully his daddy stepped in with an enthusiastic "But you can ask Him! All you have to do is ASK!!!! Jesus will hear you! He can come into your heart right now, and then you get to go to heaven!" He was quickly trying to wipe his tears away as a smile spread across his face. We all huddled together right there at the table, half eaten bowls of granola and all. :) We weren't quite sure what to do next. I'll be honest. So many people use the "repeat after me" evangelism. And yet you want to be sooooo sure that it's ONLY his child-like faith and his simple understanding of what the Bible says, and not our own words that save him. He got shy, and wasn't sure what to do either. I said "daddy can help you". :) He liked that idea. But he must've gotten a burst of bravery because he immediately broke out into his own, tearful prayer. It was the sweetest thing I had ever heard. I couldn't hold back the emotion. And to tell you how thankful I am that it happened at a time when all 5 of us were together is an understatement. We got to experience that, AS A FAMILY. What a gift. When it was all over I suddenly felt so overwhelmed. We now have so much responsibility. To make sure that he remembers, and that his understanding grows, and that he continues to learn, and ask questions, and fuel this fire that was lit! No one prepares you for this moment in parenting. People have plenty of advice for potty training, or breast feeding, or which stroller to buy. But how to disciple your child???? To make sure that this God that he has just put his trust in becomes more real to him each and every day? My life is a living testimony. It has to be. He might show up for a play date with a booger, or he might not be a violinist or the best reader in his class, but it's funny how in one instance everything else falls by the way-side. Your life now has a new perspective and purpose. What a terrifying responsibility. And it all happened on February 2nd at 8:20am. :) His joy in sharing what he did is contagious. He's not afraid of what people will think. I know that will change, but for now it's very refreshing. He was visiting with my grandparents this morning when my grandfather said "I heard angels singing". Evidently he was majorly confused, so my grandfather had to explain further. "When someone asks Jesus to come into their heart, the angels sing." His face lit up. "Gramps! That was me! I was the one who asked Jesus to come into my heart!!!" What a precious moment. My own grandfather can share in the joy that my own son isn't trusting in his own strength to get him to heaven, but in the one true God. Joy. Unspeakable joy.
