God created Seth and I for each other. He orchestrated my up-bringing, my lifestyle, my likes and dislikes, my personality, my strengths, my weaknesses, my goals and my dreams to prepare me for this moment in time. I will not apologize for the way I was raised, or the fact that I lost my dad, or where I hope to be in 10 years. I was not created to be you. I was not meant to have the husband that you have. I was not meant to have the amount of patience, or knowledge, or opinions that you possess. I am a rather out-spoken person, but I do not use my blog to vent. I stated in Part One that it took me two months to decide whether or not I wanted to share the reality of what was going on in our home. Seth has approved of every word that I have written. I haven't said a bad word about him, or what church we go to, or our childhood memories, or where he works. But I have been honest. Circumstances are not what brought us to our breaking point. It wouldn't've mattered where we lived, or how quickly we started a family, or how my husband made a living. If you took offense to what I have written, I am sorry. If the way I choose to blog doesn't seem appropriate to you, feel free to stop reading. :) The reality is, we are two sinful people. I got married with a lot of baggage. But guess what? He did too. I will never share what happened. Therefore, I don't necessarily think it should be your job to assume you know who was at fault and what would make it all better.
TO THE REST OF YOU (wink wink):
My oh my how nice it has been to know that YOU have also walked this path of darkness! Christians can make mistakes, huh!? :) WHO KNEW??? I am so tired of legalism, and status. Never knew there were so many people out there who felt it was their Christian duty to hide what they were struggling with. Some people are really private. I get that. I don't think it's wrong. I don't think everybody has to know your "business". But it sure is neat to shed a little bit of light on reality, and to stop pretending that you're perfect. :) Thank you for assuring me that we are not alone, and for also giving really good advice on how to keep growing!
Whew. What a whirlwind of blog posts! To recap in short.... We were considering divorce in January and February. Not last week. At this present moment we are deeply in love and fighting hard to make the "wrongs", "rights". He did not quit his job because I couldn't handle his traveling schedule. He quit his job because a) he knew it wasn't what God had created him to do, b) he felt he couldn't be the influential father that he desired to be, while living life on the road every other week of the year c) the unique set of circumstances that we found ourselves in made it impossible for us to work on the weak areas of our marriage without him actually being at home. I do not think that a man traveling for business is wrong. There are plenty of men "bringing home the bacon" and still thriving with a wife and kids. Let's not forget the amount of men serving our country, and therefore being absent from their families. But what is right for one family is not always right for another.
Sooooo very glad all of this is OVER! :) I have a million other things I want to blog about. Our preschool homeschooling year is coming to a close, we've completely changed the direction we were heading in for kindergarten, I've started reading an amazing book about raising sons, and I have a whole new respect for all those moms of the piano students I used to have. Silas is in piano lessons and violin lessons now, and the fate of his next lesson is completely dependent on ME! Ugh. I now know why some of those kids failed, and some flourished. FYI for those of you sweating right now....the kids who "failed" don't have moms who read this blog, so you and your reputation are very safe. :)
I am Megan. I was homeschooled and my father was killed tragically when I was 19 years old. I gave birth to 3 babies within the span of 2 1/2 years. My husband and I have been through a really rough time and have come out of it better people. I type my opinions freely and my struggles unashamedly. If you don't like it, find another blog to follow! :)