Lots going on in my heart today. I wish I had pictures to share. I hardly EVER share pictures anymore because of the computer that I blog on doesn't hold our pictures. But I just have a thought....and a quote. Do you live your life constantly thinking about another person's reaction? Like....well, the dining table has to be kept in the dining room because if we ever had that family over they would think it's strange if the table was in the family room. I think weird things like this all the time. Or....what if we stopped being involved _______, or started doing ______.....what would they think? It's a constant battle. Decisions to make. Trying to hold myself back and let my husband lead. Keeping in mind the 3 littles who are following as well. I have this quote hanging on a board in my house: "Never confuse the will of the majority with the will of God". I think I'll just hang it around my neck today. Keep reminding myself that I can't change people. Or families. Or events that have happened in the past. Or hurtful words that were said. A friend piped in with advice this morning. She said when there is family drama, you should pretend as though you're in a reality tv show. Probably the best advice I've heard all day. :) So badly wanting my children to grow with the knowledge that giving is better than receiving. And thankfulness comes from the heart....not circumstances. Off to catch up on laundry. Thankful I have 5 people who need clean clothes. :)
Feeling weary and discouraged this morning. It's no fun having little miracles who are sick. It's even less fun when you're the only adult in the house. But our cuddling was sweet last night....even though I did have to shower to rinse off the layer of snot she wiped on me. :) I found a treasure this morning. God knew just what I needed to set me back on track. To remember that these days are fleeting. Fast. And so I have traded a fun morning shopping with a friend, to instead drag all 3 to the doctors. And I will put on my happy face, embrace the day, and remember that these days are almost gone....
Having a huge problem this week. I want to redecorate. I need to redecorate. Because when I'm busy and stressed and thinking too hard, that's the way I unwind. Of course it would make more sense to just clean up the toys, wash the dishes, and sit and relax. But no. That's not me. I'd much rather make more messes. I think it's subconsciously a need to unleash my creative side or something. So anyway, here's why this is so dramatic. I have no idea who I am. I think I've narrowed it down though. I need light and space. Those are two things that are very hard to get in my home. We have an interior unit townhouse. There are only windows on the front and back. But I really believe I can work with it. I know I can. I have to, because the hubby says we have to have $80,000 saved in the bank before he's putting the house back on the market. Only slightly joking. :) Here's my other problem: everything in my home is sucking light and space. Every piece of wood is stained very, very dark. Every piece of upholstery is very, very dark. My brand new floors are very very dark. My window mis-treatments (thanks in part to The Nester) are very very dark. What was I thinking? :( Now here is where my faithful readers come in. Yes, you. You know who you are. The always-quiet, never-comment, want-to-remain-invisible readers. Here's your chance to make yourself known. I am totally, completely in love with two styles. I've narrowed it down. At least for today. :) If I title them, I'm afraid you'll get confused and have a very different visual than what I have. I'd better just post some pictures. I don't need to hear whether or not you like them. Just whether or not you think they would work for me....my kids....my house....and okay, maybe my hubby too. So here goes. Option #1 consists of most of the photos on THIS blog. Whites, grays, Netherlands, burlap, slightly minimalistic, very simple. This would be so easy because I can repaint my cabinets, repaint the walls, repaint the furniture, and maybe just sell all of my upholstered pieces and buy white Ikea slipcovered couches. Sounds like an ordeal, but for some reason when I'm stressed or burdened I totally think I can handle it. :) Option #2 is much more THISor THIS. Both have a semi-minimalist flair to them. I don't like to look at too many things at once. I want to make a statement. And keep in mind I have 3 littles, homeschool, cook, and really wish I lived on a farm. :) So.....what do you think? Traditional, calm, Swedish? Or young, eco-inspiring, bright, energetic? Planning on investing in stainless steel appliances before too long. I could never....I repeat NEVER go to a white palette in my home with my almond colored appliances. Eck! Better skidaddle. #3 is awake!
whether or not I practice what I preach, I now have evidence. :)
Top shelf : asparagus, frosting (which I may or may not have the reputation of eating by the spoonfuls), baby carrots, green and orange peppers, garlic bulbs, yeast, Mountain Dew (I don't drink coffee or coke. This is my caffeine jolt of choice!), blackberries and strawberries, and 1/2 empty bottle of wine (again....no comment please)
Middle shelf: cage free eggs, tortillas (flour and corn for our varying dietary needs), celery, milk, soy milk, homemade southern sweet tea (for the hubby. I can't even stand the smell of the stuff)
5 large heads of romaine lettuce (used for juicing), homemade-from-scratch (no little powdery mix!) Beef Stew from Sunday dinner
course bran (used for homemade granola for the Mr. and kids....my body at this point doesn't know how to absorb those nutrients), tomatoes, beets, cauliflower, and red onion
Onions and lemons
This should feed us for an entire week. I've been asked to share what exactly we eat. Here are some of the ingredients we go through. Working on another post of recipes and more meal-by-meal information. Coming soon!
The Mr. was traveling this week. He picked up one of those magazines on the plane and read the prologue for a new book. It captivated him and humbly got stuffed in his carry-on to bring home for the wife. :) If you know me at all, than you already know I'd much rather be stuck on the prairie with waist length hair and 12 children. The need for social and civilization would be non-existent because we would be growing everything on the farm that we'd need for our survival. This book has my whole dream penned down, cover to cover. Of course I've never actually read the book. Only the prologue. :) But I was able to find it on amazon today and I was given the go-ahead to place an order. So happy to have something to look forward to. I desperately need that at times like these when I feel like my life is one exhausting movie played over and over. Torn down by discouragement today but a glimmer of hope is starting to peak through. #1: the book is on its way. #2: my babies are napping. #3: there is a cold mountain dew in the fridge with my name on it. Later!
Five years later, I am still so thankful he picked me. Blessed beyond belief with three miracle babies. Exposing my soul on a worn piano bench. Collecting my thoughts through dressage. Sipping something sweet and hot in the rain. Speechless of God's grace.