"6 dangerous comments....

a homeschool mom can make." I'm not sure how many of you will appreciate these, but I know my mom will get a kick out of them. If you are not a homeschool mom, you will probably nod your head in agreement or roll your eyes because you have heard these before. But coming from someone who was homeschooled K-12, and sharing them with the mom who homeschooled K-12, these are a riot. :) I found them in the book "A Survivor's Guide to Home Schooling".

#1: "As a Christian, I could never send my children to public school!"

#2: "God has only given parents the job of teaching their children."

#3: "I plan to home school clear through high school."

#4: "I don't want my children with all those other kids."

#5: (to your parents) "I don't want my kids to go through what I went through."

#6: "College isn't important. I want her to be a good wife and mother."

The book also states "even if it is how you really feel, refrain from saying so and avoid the strife and misunderstanding which would follow...." Very wise words!!!! :)

February 2nd at 8:20am

Wednesday changed my life. We were in the middle of the worst ice storm I could remember. I woke to the sound of our home becoming strangely silent at 3:30am. We lost electricity and could hear branches snapping and hitting the snow covered ground outside. I jumped out of bed to grab a candle and matches in the case that the kids would wake up scared. Thankfully the three little ones stayed asleep. We eventually dozed off again, discussing ways to keep them warm and occupied when the sun came up. The lights were on again by dawn, and I walked downstairs to see what coverage the TV was sharing about the weather. Instead of ice, all major news channels were covering the crisis in Egypt. When I turned it off to prepare breakfast I was a little freaked out. Countries in turmoil can do that to a girl. :) My "oldest" sensed my stress and questioned me about it. In a very sarcastic tone I answered "it's just the end times". :) The poor kid was so confused and looked at me concerned and puzzled. I said "it's okay. Jesus is going to come to take us all to heaven". What happened next was the very last thing I expected. He let his head hang low and said quietly "but I don't have Jesus in my heart". Ugh. Wow. Talk about a heavy heart. He had been asking pointed questions about heaven for about a year. In an effort to allow him to have a better understanding and to ensure that we were never placing our own convictions onto our children, we kept skirting the issue. Answering his questions, but never asking him any of our own. We told him that God was preparing a place in heaven for all those that put their trust in Him, and that we believed it because it's what the Bible says. He had heard it a dozen times before, but that day was different. There was an urgency in his voice. I said "You're right, bud. You don't have Jesus in your heart". Talk about pouring salt on a wound. His daddy chimed in with so many more truths that we have each known since our own childhood. "Jesus loves you", "He wants you to live for Him", "He sent His very own Son to die on a cross so that you wouldn't have to pay the penalty that you deserve for your sin". Okay, so maybe that last truth was the adult version of what he was told that day. :) And then we told him about hell. The alternative. The only other place that he could go when he dies. We said that whoever doesn't have Jesus in their hearts will go there when they die. That's when he lost it. He put his head in his hands and just sobbed. Not "I'm 4 and having an emotional moment" cry, or a "if I lay it on thick they will give me candy" cry. They were very sincere, burdened tears. He said "Is Jesus coming today?" I said "I don't know, bud. Maybe." He felt like he had no hope. He knew the truth. Jesus is in your heart and you have the gift of spending eternity with Him, or you can rely on your own "good works" or other gods and have eternity in a lake of fire. He looked so defeated. It was hard for a mom to watch. I got teary. Thankfully his daddy stepped in with an enthusiastic "But you can ask Him! All you have to do is ASK!!!! Jesus will hear you! He can come into your heart right now, and then you get to go to heaven!" He was quickly trying to wipe his tears away as a smile spread across his face. We all huddled together right there at the table, half eaten bowls of granola and all. :) We weren't quite sure what to do next. I'll be honest. So many people use the "repeat after me" evangelism. And yet you want to be sooooo sure that it's ONLY his child-like faith and his simple understanding of what the Bible says, and not our own words that save him. He got shy, and wasn't sure what to do either. I said "daddy can help you". :) He liked that idea. But he must've gotten a burst of bravery because he immediately broke out into his own, tearful prayer. It was the sweetest thing I had ever heard. I couldn't hold back the emotion. And to tell you how thankful I am that it happened at a time when all 5 of us were together is an understatement. We got to experience that, AS A FAMILY. What a gift. When it was all over I suddenly felt so overwhelmed. We now have so much responsibility. To make sure that he remembers, and that his understanding grows, and that he continues to learn, and ask questions, and fuel this fire that was lit! No one prepares you for this moment in parenting. People have plenty of advice for potty training, or breast feeding, or which stroller to buy. But how to disciple your child???? To make sure that this God that he has just put his trust in becomes more real to him each and every day? My life is a living testimony. It has to be. He might show up for a play date with a booger, or he might not be a violinist or the best reader in his class, but it's funny how in one instance everything else falls by the way-side. Your life now has a new perspective and purpose. What a terrifying responsibility. And it all happened on February 2nd at 8:20am. :) His joy in sharing what he did is contagious. He's not afraid of what people will think. I know that will change, but for now it's very refreshing. He was visiting with my grandparents this morning when my grandfather said "I heard angels singing". Evidently he was majorly confused, so my grandfather had to explain further. "When someone asks Jesus to come into their heart, the angels sing." His face lit up. "Gramps! That was me! I was the one who asked Jesus to come into my heart!!!" What a precious moment. My own grandfather can share in the joy that my own son isn't trusting in his own strength to get him to heaven, but in the one true God. Joy. Unspeakable joy.

My long awaited project, finally completed.

About a year ago I had been reading a blog by a woman who was obsessed with teacher supply products. I thought, "well HELLO!? I'm a homeschool mom now (minus the denim jumper...), I think I need something teacher-y". So we measured, took the trip to Lowe's, started up the saw, painted, painted, and painted. It was finished! But we had no way to hang it up. Hm. Hadn't thought about that. So while the hubby was away, I dug around in the garage until I found two teeny tiny brackets, and two teeny tiny nails. Up it went. Done! I was so impressed with myself. I was quietly putting my boys to bed one night when I heard the crash. It damaged a wall....and some trim work. :( I waited about 7 months before begging and pleading for him to take over and finish the project. The snow came. We were stuck inside. My project finally saw completion! We do most of our school work in the kitchen. No matter how cute I thought my very official "school room" was, it's always more convenient to just do school where all the action is. Introducing my kitchen/school room chalk board!

Back...with a purpose.

I took the month of December to contemplate myself. My life. My family. My God. Not sure I'm ready to write again, but we're snowed in with nothing else to do. :) Blogging is a dangerous thing. A few weeks ago I tried to explain to my friend's daughter what a blog was. I said "Well, it's kind of like a diary that the whole world can read". She wrinkled up her nose and said "why would anyone want to do that!?" Hm. Never thought of it that way. When you blog consistently for a while you start convincing yourself that your blog matters. That it's making a difference. That people can't go on without you. The riskiest thing is how it makes you believe that everyone else's blog is the same way. They matter. They are making a difference. That you can't go on without them. I needed to step away. I've made New Year's Goals for myself from the age of 11. I'm a go-getter. A self-motivator. A high-achiever. I like to do as much as I can, in as little amount of time as possible. That is both a strength and a weakness. Instead of compiling a list of 20 things "to do" this year, I tried to think about what was really important. I'd rather do 5 things REALLY well, then feel like a failure from not accomplishing 20. Blogging didn't make the list. :) I've had some amazing things happen in the past month. God put a dear friend in my path to teach me sooooo much about myself and my marriage. I normally don't get along with girls, so this was huge. :) I registered to do a half marathon in May. This just seems insane to me, but I'm training hard and already paid the $$, so the damage is done. Trying to care less about my little life online and take more time to nurture my "real" life here at home. I realized I cannot attend every church service, or every Bible study, and still be a good Godly wife and mom. It's impossible for me. And I refuse to put my church and my "ministries" above my husband and kids. So I'm letting some things go. In 10 years from now, what will matter? My personal relationship with God. The level of emotional intimacy with my husband. Whether or not we have our kid's hearts and if my children are well educated. If we handled our finances well. And whether or not I'm still running on the treadmill. :) Friends are a bonus. Bible study with the girls is a bonus. Making hair bows is a bonus. I had been doing it all wrong. The fun stuff, the bonuses, were coming first. My family has suffered, my weight has suffered, my house has suffered. Trying to reorganize and switch some things around. I caught myself a few weeks ago. It was a quiet morning at home and I was youtube-ing Beth Moore. I kept yelling at the kids "go watch a movie! here's a snack! let mommy watch this!" because I thought it would make me a better woman. Who am I kidding? Of all of my memories growing up, did you know that I don't have a single memory of leaving for church on a Sunday morning with the house in shambles? Or my mom stressed about what she was wearing or how her hair was done? Or going to bed with dirty dishes in the sink? Or her not being showered and dressed in time to start school after breakfast? Not a single memory! Why can't I just get it together!? Maybe because I keep taking in all the free, unwanted furniture on craigslist before it dawns on me I have no room for the stuff. Or MAYBE because of all the time I spend on BLOGS! :) I've stated my point. Now I qualify for neglecting my family....again. ;)

popping in with a statement

Lots going on in my heart today. I wish I had pictures to share. I hardly EVER share pictures anymore because of the computer that I blog on doesn't hold our pictures. But I just have a thought....and a quote. Do you live your life constantly thinking about another person's reaction? Like....well, the dining table has to be kept in the dining room because if we ever had that family over they would think it's strange if the table was in the family room. I think weird things like this all the time. Or....what if we stopped being involved _______, or started doing ______.....what would they think? It's a constant battle. Decisions to make. Trying to hold myself back and let my husband lead. Keeping in mind the 3 littles who are following as well. I have this quote hanging on a board in my house: "Never confuse the will of the majority with the will of God". I think I'll just hang it around my neck today. Keep reminding myself that I can't change people. Or families. Or events that have happened in the past. Or hurtful words that were said. A friend piped in with advice this morning. She said when there is family drama, you should pretend as though you're in a reality tv show. Probably the best advice I've heard all day. :) So badly wanting my children to grow with the knowledge that giving is better than receiving. And thankfulness comes from the heart....not circumstances. Off to catch up on laundry. Thankful I have 5 people who need clean clothes. :)

I found a treasure...

Feeling weary and discouraged this morning. It's no fun having little miracles who are sick. It's even less fun when you're the only adult in the house. But our cuddling was sweet last night....even though I did have to shower to rinse off the layer of snot she wiped on me. :) I found a treasure this morning. God knew just what I needed to set me back on track. To remember that these days are fleeting. Fast. And so I have traded a fun morning shopping with a friend, to instead drag all 3 to the doctors. And I will put on my happy face, embrace the day, and remember that these days are almost gone....

Just a Family

Who in the World am I????

Having a huge problem this week. I want to redecorate. I need to redecorate. Because when I'm busy and stressed and thinking too hard, that's the way I unwind. Of course it would make more sense to just clean up the toys, wash the dishes, and sit and relax. But no. That's not me. I'd much rather make more messes. I think it's subconsciously a need to unleash my creative side or something. So anyway, here's why this is so dramatic. I have no idea who I am. I think I've narrowed it down though. I need light and space. Those are two things that are very hard to get in my home. We have an interior unit townhouse. There are only windows on the front and back. But I really believe I can work with it. I know I can. I have to, because the hubby says we have to have $80,000 saved in the bank before he's putting the house back on the market. Only slightly joking. :) Here's my other problem: everything in my home is sucking light and space. Every piece of wood is stained very, very dark. Every piece of upholstery is very, very dark. My brand new floors are very very dark. My window mis-treatments (thanks in part to The Nester) are very very dark. What was I thinking? :( Now here is where my faithful readers come in. Yes, you. You know who you are. The always-quiet, never-comment, want-to-remain-invisible readers. Here's your chance to make yourself known. I am totally, completely in love with two styles. I've narrowed it down. At least for today. :) If I title them, I'm afraid you'll get confused and have a very different visual than what I have. I'd better just post some pictures. I don't need to hear whether or not you like them. Just whether or not you think they would work for me....my kids....my house....and okay, maybe my hubby too. So here goes. Option #1 consists of most of the photos on THIS blog. Whites, grays, Netherlands, burlap, slightly minimalistic, very simple. This would be so easy because I can repaint my cabinets, repaint the walls, repaint the furniture, and maybe just sell all of my upholstered pieces and buy white Ikea slipcovered couches. Sounds like an ordeal, but for some reason when I'm stressed or burdened I totally think I can handle it. :) Option #2 is much more THIS or THIS. Both have a semi-minimalist flair to them. I don't like to look at too many things at once. I want to make a statement. And keep in mind I have 3 littles, homeschool, cook, and really wish I lived on a farm. :) So.....what do you think? Traditional, calm, Swedish? Or young, eco-inspiring, bright, energetic? Planning on investing in stainless steel appliances before too long. I could never....I repeat NEVER go to a white palette in my home with my almond colored appliances. Eck! Better skidaddle. #3 is awake!