My Dream

We are such dorks. Really people, you have no idea. I skyped my hubby this afternoon and asked him if someday we could invest in solar panels for our home. He said I was turning him on. We are just not the norm. At first I was a little concerned about that, but I think I've learned to accept it. I was at my mom's the other day and she threw this at me. I don't think I've seen one of these catalogs since Y2K. I almost started hyperventilating from excitement. I guess I got my dorky gene from her. My dad would've been throwing the Tommy Bahama catalog at me. :) Our house has been on the market for a week and we've already had 4 showings. We don't really expect it to sell, just because we're not willing to lower our price and the market is SO bad. Not to mention the fact that there are now close to 20 homes in our development that are also for sale. :( BUT, it got us thinking. "What if it DOES sell????? Where will we live!?!?" (insert panic stricken, hormonal female voice here) One of my greatest weaknesses is worrying about what others think. His is too. We want something bigger, but afraid others might think it's too big. We don't want something huge, which we're afraid will then cause "those friends" to think we've settled for second best. We want land, but afraid "those friends" might think we stink after working in the yard all day. We want a really nice, "uppity" community for safety and status reasons, but afraid "those people" will judge us for squandering our money. Oh how I wish everyone would just stop judging! Although, I actually LOVE hearing EVERYONE's opinions, even if they make me upset. So screwed up, I tell ya! :( So here's my dream. Actually this is our dream....

We're up before the sun in our 1100 sq. ft., 50 year old rancher. My hair reaches my waist, so there's no need for styling it. It succumbs to it's daily fate of a pony tail, once again. He makes the coffee and does something super masculine and sexy, like, let's say 50 push-ups right there on the kitchen floor, without his shirt on. A girl can dream, no? :) I slip on a fresh white t-shirt and old, ripped jeans to run outside barefoot and scatter feed for the chickens. On my way back to the house I gather whatever eggs are available and the ripest berries on our 20 bushes for breakfast. He already has coconut oil warming in the old, cast-iron frying pan. The eggs are cracked and the peppers and onions are married together to serve us our first meal of the day. The kidlets slip groggily out of their beds (we would have 6, by this point...) to join us at the large farmhouse table made of old barn wood. He reads the Bible and prays over us before he heads out to check on the cattle and wheat. We have a very strict homeschool schedule because we aren't going the "unschool" route, and we engage our brains heavily until 11am. They get to take a break to spend the next hour on their instrument of choice while I head to the garden to gather lunch. We devour today's menu of sprouts, olives and "dinosaur juice" on the picnic blanket spread out under the sycamore tree. My wonderful children get to discuss with their father what they learned in school that morning, and we take the entire hour just savoring every morsel that the land beneath our feet has harvested for us. One o'clock has come as the children and I head back into the house to finish up today's school. By mid-afternoon we have the entire family in the acre of garden space out back weeding and tilling while we sing in perfect harmony There Is A Redeemer. Have I mentioned that because of our small home and enormous garden, we also live debt free? The solar panels were an anniversary gift last year, so our monthly electric bill is never over $18. The 3 youngest have come down with a fever and runny nose, so to the herb garden I run! The leaves as well as some bones I pulled out of the freezer are simmering quietly on the woodstove to be used for their healing purposes that evening. Dinner is something warm and nourishing. We spend the rest of the evening snuggled up on the couch under all of nana's homemade quilts to listen to his elaborate stories. And as you might have guessed, he gets it every night. ;)

Now of course I don't really think all of this will actually happen. We'd all be cranky and sweaty from a house with no air-conditioning and my kids would be screaming from bee stings and splinters. Just trying to be vunerable in a world where we are all wearing the veil of perfection. :)